My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
