Quick, to the slutcave!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
