well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
