he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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