went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
