the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize