tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
