quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
