I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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