Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
