I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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