She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
