Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
