I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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