Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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