What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
