ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
