i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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