The best revenge is premature balding
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
