On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
