I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They have beer where we have blood.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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