last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
