im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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