i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
