Do you still have your period?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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