in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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