It's Friday. Sex?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
