i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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