He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I supernannyed him into submission
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
