i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
