Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
