she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
