Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
