i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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