Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize