Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize