I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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