So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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