i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Found your dick twin last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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