He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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