ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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