when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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