it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
