Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
