in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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