When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize