Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize
