What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
