I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
