the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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