I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i believe in u and ur pee
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
