then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
