We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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