But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
