so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
