do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
