I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize