The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Terrible idea I love it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
