yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
