I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
ugly people sure do ruin things
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
