I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
